itz time for a break

well.. u've heard of writers' block... or wateva else datz somewat related to dat... in my case i guess i'll be gg on some sort of hiatus.... well.. i'm nt being lazy... juz dat i guess i need to rearrange priorities... get my head n life straight... n i guess as most great writers do... experience more of life n find the constant new sources of inspiration for process of thought n maturity....

well.. i do nt claim to be a great writer.... in fact i tink i'm otherwise... haha... but well... my point is dat if great writers need breaks... wat more i? i tink i need to grow more, experience more, recharge more n juz simply mature more in thought to be able to write something more substantial on dis blog.... everyone needs to change at some point or the other.... i'm no exception... nt dat i'm someone to be an exception in the first place... but well.. datz juz how it is....

so well... no parting words or watsoever.... juz til the nxt entry... ciaoz....

the draw of melancholy...

juz been tinking quite a bit lately... most prob bcoz i've juz finished reading "tuesdays with morrie" some time dis week... itz a realli short book... i finished it in 2 sittings... but still it presents the real barebone issues dat we haf to deal with in life in a veri simple but nonetheless profound way... little catch phrases like "when u learn to die, u learn to live." or "love wins. love always wins." to name a couple... in a way itz stuff dat we alreadi noe... but itz in the beauty of the perspective frm which the author puts it dat realli draws me in...

datz the issue dat i haf tinking abt lately... y do i haf dat strange draw towards melancholy? it is when i truly feel melancholic deep down dat i realli appreciate something... be it a book... or a deed... n i'm drawn to dat kind of feeling.... n to me itz kinda strange... if nt a little disturbing... perhaps itz bcoz it makes me feel human.. or simply it juz makes me feel... but y i find it disturbing is bcoz i tink many other ppl r more drawn towards other kinds of emotions like euphoria... which i tink is more healthy n better for the soul than being constantly filled with melancholy....

perhaps there's a small part of us dat it drawn toward melancholic emotions... the onli diff is dat itz more pronounced in some than in others... n some others may even haf yet to realise such an attraction to such an emotion.... unfortunately, or perhaps otherwise, i guess i do haf an exaggerated attraction to melancholy... well personally i dun tink itz a healthy emotion coz tho it makes me feel... but at the same time it wat makes me look worn out n listless to other ppl... n ironically in time, i wun be able to feel any other emotion....

well... of course i can't quell this draw towards melancholy... itz juz like trying to ask a veteran hobbyist to give up his hobby... but at the same time i guess i shld experience other emotions to the fullest... i could try happiness, but for me it doesn't realli last long enuff for melancholy to get baq at me...or perhaps i could try camaraderie, but it juz wun work out without frenz ard... but of course... "all this is hypothetical" to quote yh.... i wouldn't noe whether they'll work out if i juz dun try... so yeah... i'll juz leave it as dat..

well datz it for dis entry... til the nxt entry... ciaoz...

离家很远...

随着成长 远离家乡 回头遥望 我满肩坚强
为了梦想 振翅飞翔 怎么遗忘 熟悉的家香...

well... datz lyrics frm a cheena song being the cheena guy i am.. haha...well i'm nt dat cheena but still cheena nonetheless....

but anywayz.... the lyrics realli do speak to me veri personally.. as i tink of wat my life is going to be like... beyond NS... into uni... n perhaps beyond dat....

as some of u ppl may noe.. i haf been planning to go overseas to continue me education at a university.... n frankly i can't fathom the thought of leaving dis country... leaving family, frenz, places of interest, culture... juz everything dat has been so familiar to me for my whole life so far.... n then plunging myself into... well... nt say an alien but largely unknown territory... with new ppl, new culture, new lifestyle albeit quite a slow, downbeat one, new places of interest (or perhaps disinterest)... itz juz... something i haven't experienced n haf no idea wat it will be like at all...

well anyway baq to the lyrics... well having to stay in a foreign country for an extended period of time... having to study there... n possibly work there.. i wonder if it does haf an effect on a person... we hear all over the place dat ppl go overseas n prefer the life there n juz stay put there... i realli wonder if dat would happen to me... the idea of gg some place else n calling dat place home n putting ur original home aside..... itz scary to put it vaguely.... emotionally i shiver at the thought of it....

but perhaps at dis point of time i'm still stuck here.... with onli dis country to call home.... datz y such a thought is kinda scary... bcoz at dis point of time i can't consider any place else my home.... so juz the thought of brushing singapore as my home is like making myself homeless without any possesions... haiz...

but well... as a few ppl do say... i tink too much.. haha... maybe when the time comes for me to go overseas... it wouldn't feel so bad... maybe i juz haven't gotten the feel of gg overseas yet... having stayed put here in singapore n nt flown overseas for a holidae for quite awhile... as i quote frm a game, "maybe starting out on a journey may not be so hard... or maybe it has alreadi begun..."

well i guess i'll leave my entry as dat... so till the nxt entry... ciaoz~.. ^^

PS: cheena song courtesy of nan quan mama -- song title: 离家不远.. check it out.. ^^