"ty"-age angst? hmmm.. -_-;;;

well here's keeping with me weekly quota of one entry per week... hahz... but well.. since i've got a half day todae n haf some time on my hands... i figured i'd juz note down me thoughts for the week...

well as some of u may alreadi noe... dis week was one filled with agony n anger for me.... given the fact dat me weekend got totally burnt to a crisp coz of the silly Singapore Biathlon thingie... n dat me 2 days off realli bored the life out of me... n dat i waz on the brink of falling ill... n dat after the off me superior got realli pissed n decided to bring the smackdown on me batch... n dat me saturday evening (which is tmr) will be eaten up again by some stoopid event in camp dat doesn't even make sense at all... which naturally means i can't make it to church yet again...

i noe i haf every reason to get pissed off with everyone n everything... which unfortunately happened to me during the week... waz realli too easily irritable... but i guess datz wat happened to most ppl in camp who were involved with the silly biathlon thingie.... everyone was extremely tired n veri veri irritable... looking baq i realised how much i've changed... i guess i've become more rigid... more unable to except the circumstances in life as they are without complaint or any sense of anger welling up inside.... i guess datz wat they call teenage angst... but guess wat? i'm nearing the end of me teenage years... my age will soon end with a "-ty" instead of a "-teen"... so y am i still so caught up with dis kind of anger?

i'm guessing itz the environment i'm in now datz nurturing such negative emotions.. all dis rubbish abt nt being able to bear with ur pains being considered weak.. n how we shld be "fired up" or extremely enthused everything we need to get things done... well i guess datz the culture i'm in now in camp.... n i guess i disagree with dis kinds of mentalities n such festering thoughts of disagreement haf turned into a subtle change frm docile to full of angst....

haiz... well... i guess i haf a lot of work to do on my personality... i've changed n am unable to return to who i waz b4... but i guess i'll be able to find a compromise between these 2 personalities... i guess something docile but at the same time being able to haf the same kind of enthusiasm n confidence.... i dunno... i guess dat awaits to be discovered...

well i guess datz abt it for me entry... til the nxt entry.. ciaoz~ ^^

PS: star shine shine ends tonite.... my 9pm's will be so empty again.... T_T someone quick console me... hahz...